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i miss my dad.
sometimes i just dont know where to start. or maybe i just wanna get away yet i seem not to be able to do so. she asked, i would always said no regrets. i dont know why this time round i seem to have. i have been searching and searching and its close to an year but i looked around and find it all empty all in mind. its terrifying to hear nothing but one's own breathe. what do i gain; what do i lose, i have been asking. its always the same old thing. my only grasp of survive is the old man's words. call me naive or shoot me down but that's the only way to keep me going. couple argued that i am a fool but outsiders dont know what i want and what i need. i open a mail which is addressed to me. one sentence hit me hard. 'are you strong on just the outside?' but have i ever mentioned i was ever strong? i wished i werent that strong in people's eyes. i wished to have the courage and tears to cry. people dont have to try and understand what's inside, just because you werent allowed to be inside.
its a holiday tomorrow. wwheee
and its time to exercise+golfing~
@5:26 PM